


tangible silence

by giraffingallday



Category: IT (2017)
Genre: American Sign Language, Bullying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, IT'S THE DEAF EDDIE FIC YALL STRAP IN, M/M, deaf!eddie, look i don't know why i put tags this is nonesense, see also: carly trying really hard to describe asl and also trying really hard to remember asl
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-13
Updated: 2017-10-18
Packaged: 2019-01-16 22:58:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12352281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/giraffingallday/pseuds/giraffingallday
Summary: Eddie Kaspbrak is fourteen years old, lives in the tiny town of Derry, has asthma along with a million other ailments, and attends bird watching club meetings every Monday, Wednesday,and Friday afternoon where he never actually watches birds.Oh yeah, he also can’t fucking hear._Or, Deaf!Eddie finally makes some friends; a misadventures series most likely not in chronological order





	1. 1.

**Author's Note:**

> HELLLLOOOOOO, when everyone got hype about the deaf!eddie fic i bet they weren't expecting to wait several weeks for a couple thousand words
> 
> I'm trying to world build with this though, it's kind of experimental so we'll see how it goes!

_Remember, your teacher has a landline if something happens. Did you take your allergy medicine? And sunscreen?_

_Yes mommy. I have to go I don’t want to be late._

Eddie stepped out of the car and breathed out in relief when he felt the gust of his mother driving away without protest; every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for the entire summer, he’ll have a blissful two hours away from his mom. Bird watching was a bit of a useless activity, but there were a lot of wildflowers from what he could see, and he just got that new book on medicinal plants, maybe he can match some of them up. He walked over to where the instructor sat and handed him the note that he’d been clutching like a life line; it read:

_‘Mr. Lewis,_

_You should have been informed that my son, Edward Kaspbrak, is going to be in attendance for this summer’s Youth Bird Watching Group. I’m sending you this letter to make sure you are aware of his deafness as well as the fact that I will not tolerate him receiving anything less than the utmost consideration and accommodation for this disability. If you have any questions you may send a letter back or call me with the number in his school file._

_Regards,_

_Sonia Kaspbrak’_

It should be noted that Eddie resented this letter with all of his being, both because of how _disabled_ it made him sound and because it wasn’t exactly a pleasant first impression; the teacher read it over with his eyebrows hiked up to his hairline and gave Eddie a thumbs up after slipping the note under the thin stack of paper on his clipboard. A quick glance around showed the small group made up of kids his age, all faintly recognizable from school, and none interesting enough for Eddie to break his fourteen year trend of not having any friends, so he settled in the field and flopped back to look at the sky.

The tall grass tickled his ears and calves and the clouds formed meaningless shapes that let his mind wander in the silence that permeated his existence.

It was the most peaceful six hours of his week.

For two weeks.

At which point on nearly the other side of Derry a tightly knit group of self-proclaimed losers were drying off under the sun after spending most of their morning swimming at the quarry, by the road Stanley Uris was digging through his bag before heading off to his bird watching group, and while making sure he had his bird book and binoculars; he got interrupted by Derry’s resident dickhead, and one of his best friends, Richie Tozier.

“Stan my man, how are you on this fine afternoon?” He was only half committed to the posh accent he put on, and when he noticed Stan follow his gaze he would be too embarrassed to tell you it was to a shabby car with a woman in the driver’s seat that looked like she wouldn’t be able to stand if she got out, “Perhaps you could do me the honor of accompanying you to your bird watching activities? Someone has to keep all those bird obsessed girls entertained – I doubt you do much for them.”

Richie’s friends knew well enough that when it came to his home life, he had a bad time and he didn’t like sharing details. Something about the way he couldn’t help but fidget with the obnoxiously patterned aloha shirt must have helped Stan read the situation because he let out a tedious sigh and nodded, “You can’t be loud Richie. It scares the birds away.”

The relief that washed over Richie was unlike anything else, his whole body relaxed when he bounded over to tell his mom that he didn’t need a drive, he’d be home later, before pulling the bike away from where he had rested it against the car so he could follow Stan.

_

“So you just sit there? For two hours?” Richie Tozier had not entirely thought out this bird watching thing.

“No moving, no noises, just sitting, for two hours.” Stan sounded _way_ to content with that concept – wasn’t he a kid too?

“Wow. No moving, no noises, just sitting, for two hours. Title of your sex tape.” Richie barked out a laugh at his own joke, wheezing over the handlebars of his bike while Stan didn’t even bother to spare him a groan, entirely unamused by his friend’s vulgar jokes. Richie continued on with the joke for the rest of the ride, going into detail about what that could actually suggest – at one point he used the phrase, _pleated slacks of sin_ and Stan has to pull out a _Beep beep, Richie._ before pulling his bike over to leave on the grass.

The group of bird enthusiasts looked about as interesting as one would expect, Richie let his bike fall to the ground and scanned them, eyes settling on a short boy, his hair was neat, he had a fanny pack strapped around his hips, and he wasn’t watching the array of bird feeders and fountains set up like everyone else. Instead he was flipping through a heavy book while inspecting a small bunch of wildflowers in his hand, taking notes when he matched one to a page with a small furrow to his brow. The corner of Richie’s mouth quirked up in a smile and he hummed, “Cute.”

He walked over the kid, hands casual in his pockets and blocking the sun from where it shone on the pages of whatever field guide was helping the boy with his task, “Why hello there! Richie Tozier here, and it’s a pleasure to meet you!” He stuck his hand out in front of the boy’s face, who only then looked up, his face nothing short of startled, “I know it can be a little shocking to see someone as gorgeous as me for the first time but don’t be shy! You’re cute too.” He winked and the boy jerked his head back a bit, face morphing from startled to confused _and_ startled.

“Richie you dumbass.” Stan grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, waved apologetically and glowered, “That’s Eddie, the deaf kid. Leave him alone, he doesn’t need to waste his time trying to read your frog lips.”

“ _Oh_! I thought he was ignoring me.” He pulled out of Stan’s hold and plunked down on the grass, cross legged in front of Eddie and close enough for their knees to touch. He then proceeded to volunteer Eddie for what was apparently a game of charades, pointing to himself while trying to portray the act of money raining down on him as some backwards method of explaining the _Rich_ part of his name. Eddie watched for a moment, a sudden squeak of laughter left him at a particularly aggressive money-falling-hip-thrust and he clapped a hand over his mouth at the unplanned noise.

“No! You can laugh!” He gave him a thumbs up and a smile, “It’s a cute laugh.” He reached over to pinch his cheek and wasn’t even slightly put off when Eddie smacked his hand away before offering Richie a pencil and the notebook he had previously been taking notes in but had now written ‘ _name?_ ’ on a fresh page.

And like, duh Tozier, that made way more sense.

_this is probably a better idea. richie tozier_

_im eddie_

He started to pass the notebook for Richie to read but pulled it back to scribble _kaspbrak_ to the end of his sentence.

_so how do you talk to people?_

_it’s called sign language dumbass_

“He. He made you quiet.” Stan had been watching them both in a little bit of awe, he waved lightly to get Eddie’s attention – he was trying to see what Richie was writing out after reading his latest reply – and spoke slowly, “Keep him. Please.” Before rising and turning on his heel to join the rest of the group, which was getting started now.

When Richie passed the notebook back he had written out the alphabet, and written under it _teach me?_ with a small smiley. Yeah, Eddie’s whole face turned pink when he nodded, but c’mon, anyone would get flustered if they made their first friend ever in all fourteen years of their life.

The spent two hours perfecting Richie’s fingerspelling, he picked up on it really fast, and was rapidly spelling out words for Eddie to teach him – Eddie tried to steer him in the direction of useful words like _what, that, yes,_ and _no_ , Richie was a little more focused on perfecting his ASL _fuck_.

They only noticed their group was over because Sonia Kaspbrak came charging across the field, only a few people remained and Eddie was normally the first to leave. She tapped his shoulder and started moving her hands as soon as he looked up, _Group is over Eddiebear we’re going home._

Eddie flashed a panicked glance at Richie who looked just overjoyed at the way she signed Eddie’s name, it was the only thing he picked up on in her rapid sentence, she fingerspelled out _e-d-d-i-e_ before crossing her arms over her chest and making a scratching motion. He whipped his head to look at Eddie, a wicked smile on his face while he repeated the motion before flicking his hands up to ask _what?_

He moved to spell out _bear_ but his mom caught his arm, pulling him up so he was standing and grabbing his stuff from the ground, she stopped and made a little sneer and Richie, “I know who you are Richard Tozier, my son does not need to be hanging around someone so vulgar and disappointing.” She spat it and Richie just barely resisted the urge to flinch, he knew what other kid’s parents thought of him, this was just the first one to say it to his face. Eddie wasn’t looking at him, he was watching the back of his mom’s head with a look in his eyes that said he knew this would happen, Richie wanted to see him laugh again.

So he cracked an easy smile and waved his arm so Eddie would look at him, rapid fast spelt out _s-p-a-g-h-e-t-t-i,_ and then _e-d-d-i-e_ before pointing his pinkies at each other and looping them away from each other to follow Eddie’s demonstration. Eddie put the nickname together and squinted, but Richie could see his mouth twitch. He pressed his lips together and blew a kiss that made a blush spring up on Eddie’s cheeks and that was about all Sonia could take, hastily shoving the notebook into Eddie’s bag and gripping his arm to drag him away.

“How the hell did a trashmouth like you make friends with him?” Stan was, pretty impressed actually, Eddie never seemed to hang out with anyone, and Richie had him laughing and teaching him sign language for two hours without getting too overwhelmed by the way Richie’s mouth ran a mile a minute and his hands seemed to move faster – albeit sloppy and with frequent pauses so Eddie could reposition his fingers into the correct shape.

“I’m charming Stanley. And your sister is always telling me how good I am with my hands, figured I’d prove her right.”

Eddie watched from the passenger seat as Richie shot finger guns at his friend while half jogging backwards towards his bike, he stumbled and fell on his ass, didn’t seem fazed as he got up and resumed the same method of movement.

If you asked his mom, she would tell you that Richie was _not_ Eddie’s friend, and even if he was, Richie was a horrible friend for Eddie to have, too brash and obnoxious and not nearly a good influence on her angel. If you asked Eddie, he’d bite back a smile and let you know that his favourite days of the week were Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.


	2. 2.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Eddie starts the new school year with a newly found group of friends he becomes unfortunately familiar with Henry Bowers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOOO im so excited to post a second chapter, this ones a lot longer at 3029 words but i hope yall enjoy every bit! 
> 
> also just a reminder that this story is nonlinear so although this chapter takes place at the start of the school year you can request for chapters to occur at any time! I just wanted some reddie hurt/comfort and feelings
> 
> (also i never edit my work im so sorry)

Life was good for Eddie Kaspbrak, it was the end cusp of summer, the warmest part of the school year when kids could still get away with shorts before the flu season hit, he had a bike of his own (a hand-me-down from Stan that was kept a careful secret from his mother), and he had finally found his place in a group of friends that proudly – and accurately – deemed themselves _The Loser’s Club_.

The summer had finally felt like what all the poetry and stories told him it should, airy and warm and like finding family in trees and people who don’t share your blood. Richie easily became his closest friend of the six, he was flirty and funny and the right kind of obnoxious and he had Eddie laughing and blushing through all the warm months of the summer; whether they were lounging on the sun-warmed rocks at the quarry or snickering in tall grass while Richie tries to keep them both from scaring birds away, the four eyed boy was always at Eddie’s side, asking him how to sign this or that word and trying to sign along with every thought that left his mouth.

(Eddie may or may not have developed a crush that left his chest heavy anytime Richie waved goodbye at the end of the day, signing out _e-d-d-i-e spaghetti_ with that toothy grin that made Eddie wish Richie would just wake up the next day a girl so Eddie wouldn’t have to feel so guilty.)

(Richie may have had one too.)

Now that school was starting Eddie had never been more excited to go, each morning he’d tuck his inhaler and pill organizer safely into his fanny pack and give his mom a reluctant kiss on the cheek before heading out to sit on his porch steps until Richie came pedalling down the road, they’d smile and wave and Richie would yell something that Eddie couldn’t read, but knew were the words _hop on Ed’s, Stan’s waiting!_ because he said it every morning. Richie would hold the bike steady with one hand and put the other out palm up so Eddie could push himself up onto the handlebars for the short trip to the Uris residence.

It was one of Eddie’s favourite times of day, Richie was too hyperactive to sit while biking, so he’s be up and looking over Eddie while Eddie leaned back against Richie’s shoulder and enjoyed the feeling of the wind over his face. The first time they showed up to Stan’s place like that he gave them a look that made both boys flush dark, but he’s learned to expect that kind of behaviour from the pair.

School was different, collectively it felt weird to hang out without Mike, even though they were only without him for the school day, he’d manage to bike down after school most days, and Bev cornered the both of them at the quarry while everyone was swimming and reminded them that they were still losers in everyone’s eyes – especially Henry Bowers and his gang – and that even though she and everyone else was really happy to see how close they were, other people might get the wrong idea. Both of them were really grateful it was Bev who brought it up, something about her kind face kept the unspoken tension between them just as it was, unspoken.

Richie couldn’t seem to help himself with Eddie, he was still pretty touchy with Eddie, Henry Bowers took notice.

Eddie had gym class last period, so Richie waited by his locker while everyone else left school to meet Mike. When Richie and Eddie started on their way to catch up with everyone, they were stopped by the group of bullies. “Hey Bucky, got yourself a boyfriend? Not surprised that you had to find a deaf one, I can’t imagine there’s a fag in the world who could listen to your voice.” He shoved Richie’s shoulder hard enough to make him take a couple steps back, Eddie watched on in horrified silence, he couldn’t even read Henry’s lips, he could only see the hardened anger in Richie’s face as he stood his ground.

“Fuck you Bowers.” He spat it and lifted his hand to press up his glasses, the words and action didn’t pair well together and Henry laughed, shoved him harder this time so Richie would fall, before turning to Eddie and stalking towards him with a twisted smile that made the smaller boy tremble. That’s the trouble with being a loser, if you’re alone no one cares, but once other losers start to take you in, you get added to a list you never signed your name onto.

Eddie had trouble reading Henry’s lips, he spoke with a laziness that left his words poorly pronounced, but he did catch the word _fag_ drop heavy off his lips before he lifted his hands and grabbed Eddie’s hair, he gripped it tight enough for Eddie to cry out and yanked him so he fell. Richie watched in horror as he struggled to get back up, only for Henry to pull him back down again, this time Eddie whimpered when his back hit hard on the road, Henry rested his knee on Eddie’s chest and pressed down so the younger boy’s eyes popped open at the restriction to his chest.

“Leave him alone!” Richie ran at them and into Henry, trying to push him off, Henry grunted at the force of the impact, but managed to lay a solid punch to Richie’s cheek, a ring on his finger gashing the pale flesh. He stood up and looked down at the two of them, Eddie wheezing frantically while he tried in vain to catch his breath and Richie with blood on his face as he filled the space between his friend and the bully, stubborn determination on his face. Wasn’t worth it. The corner of Henry’s lips twitched and he lifted his foot to kick Richie’s chest so they were both on their backs before walking away.

Both of them watched in horror as Henry turned the corner, as soon as he was out of view Richie scrambled to his knees and hovered over Eddie who still hadn’t caught his breath, _Inhaler._

Right, of course. Richie pulled open the zipper of Eddie’s fanny pack and dug out the plastic saviour giving it a good shake and holding it to Eddie’s mouth. Eddie’s hand came up to hold over Richie’s and pushed down at the same time he took a sharp inhale. His chest seemed to settle after that and he sat up properly, Richie signed before Eddie had a chance to tell him anything else, _I’m so sorry, this is my fault._ Eddie thought briefly about how far Richie’s signing had come before refocusing on the crumbled expression on his face.

_We have to clean that cut before it gets infected._ He pulled a tissue from his fanny pack to press to Richie’s cheek, waited for Richie to press it for him before continuing, _I knew what it meant to be a loser, it’s okay. Anyway you’re the one bleeding._ Eddie couldn’t hold back a smile when Richie cracked his signature toothy grin, shrugged and pressed the back of his knuckles, gently, into Eddie’s cheek.

“Better me than you.” He spoke slowly enough for Eddie to follow and his smile widened when the skin under his fingers grew warm. He pulled his back hand to sign, _Fix me up doctor!_ And stood, giving Eddie a hand to stand up as well before they made their way to Eddie’s house.

Eddie’s mom wasn’t home from work yet, a blessing really, and so they settled in the kitchen, Richie sat on a creaky dining room chair while Eddie rummaged through the heavy first aid kit that he brought out to the table. The rubbing alcohol that soaked the cotton ball Eddie pressed to Richie’s cheek made him flinch and inhale sharp, Eddie jerked his hand back and hesitated before continuing, lifting his free hand to sign apologies while he continued, when he finished cleaning the cut Richie refused a bandage, it wasn’t _that_ bad.

_There, good as new._ Eddie tossed the bloody swab and clicked shut the first aid kit, after he placed it back in the cupboard he turned to find Richie looking at him far too intensely for his usual demeanor, _Everything okay?_

Richie blinked at that and nodded, shook his head like he needed to refocus, _We should go and tell everyone about my,_ He paused and furrowed his brow, _H-e-r-o-i-c-s?_ Eddie did the sign with a small smile, came back over and grabbed Richie’s hands to fix his positioning until he was signing it with the dramatic flair he put on most of his signs.

_I don’t think I thanked you_. Eddie started, but grabbed Richie’s hands so he would stop with his repetition, _Listen to me hero!_ He laughed when Richie seemed to manage his attention, Eddie’s face softened and Richie matched his expression – even if he didn’t seem to get it with anyone else, at least Richie knew when Eddie needed him to be a little more serious, _Thank you._

Richie looked at him for a minute, reached out to pinch Eddie’s cheek, _You don’t need me to protect you. You’re a deaf badass._

They both laughed and Eddie rolled his eyes, didn’t slap Richie’s hand away this time when it lingered. Richie let his hand drop and looked at Eddie, his cheeks were pinked (weren’t they always?) and he was giving Richie that little smile that he only ever saw when they were alone and Eddie wasn’t trying hard to make sure the other losers knew he was entirely unimpressed. That smile did something to Richie’s chest that felt like the opposite of crying.

But somehow it was the scariest feeling Richie had ever encountered.

_Wait. Before we go._ He paused and hesitated, he was a trashmouth, and he never seemed to shut up, what made this so different? _I need to tell you something_. There was a nervous edge to his signs that Eddie hadn’t seen before, and just before he had a chance to continue, something made Richie jump and pale, oh shit, his mom.

She made her way into the kitchen, vinyl tracksuit swishing and she stopped dead in her tracks, _Why is he here and what happened to his cheek?! Did something like that happen to you?_ She rushed to Eddie and yanked his body to fully face her, her palms were clammy when they patted over his skin looking for injury, and she let out the most exaggerated gasp Richie had ever heard when a press to Eddie’s chest made him wince, “What happened to him Tozier.” She signed along while she spoke and Richie swallowed, he knew better than to try and charm her, she despised him.

“Henry Bowers pushed him down, I broke it up.” He shrugged and watched Eddie despite talking to Sonia, it made bile rise in Richie’s throat that Eddie always looked smallest when his mom was in the room. “He’s okay now.”

“Okay?!” Her voice hit an octave she wasn’t actually capable of and cracked, Richie winced but she paid him no mind, “He has _severe_ asthma you – you- you – ugh! It’s your fault he’s even involved with bullies!” She didn’t seem to care that Richie actually shrunk down at that, turned to Eddie instead, _We’re going to the hospital so they can scan your chest, if there’s any damage it could worsen your asthma._

_Only if Richie comes too._ Eddie seemed so determined in his demand that his mother looked genuinely taken aback, she lifted her hands to reply but he interrupted her with an open palm hovering over his chest in a circular motion that read almost desperate, _Please._

Something about the act brought Sonia Kaspbrak to look at Richie with only half of his usual disgust, and she simply exhaled long and slow through her nose before nodding, “Shit really? Alright Mrs. K, let’s get our boy’s chest scanned.” Richie grinned and winked at Eddie when his eyes widened at the sign _our_ , and Eddie’s mom’s face squished into her usual disdain.

“Come now before I change my mind.” She started off with Eddie dutifully shrunk down beside her and paused to look back at Richie’s dingy clothes, “And you’re sitting on a towel.”

_

Eddie sat with Richie and waited while his mom explained the _dire_ situation to the nurse, the waiting room was crowded, and one of the patients had coughed when they came in so Eddie had been forced to wear a mask – Richie put one on too just to make Eddie laugh. _How do you stand it in here, it’s so stale._ Richie had been visibly uncomfortable since they arrived, but insisted on staying glued to Eddie’s side despite multiple assurances that he could leave and go find the others.

_It’s not stale it’s clean._ Richie could see Eddie’s smile in the way his cheeks rounded and pushed on the paper mask, Eddie saw Richie do the same.

_Gross._ Richie gave a little shiver and both of them actually laughed, it broke the stark silence in the room and Sonia whipped around from where she had a nurse cornered to give them a death glare, Eddie read the nurse’s lips and told Richie that she was telling his mom things couldn’t be that urgent if Eddie was laughing with his friend - and that his mom would hear that as an invitation to explain once more the severity of Eddie’s ailments.

They settled in for a long night.

When the sun was down and it seemed they had decided to put Eddie on the bottom of the list Sonia left to get them dinner, Eddie and Richie had nearly fallen asleep where they slouched together in the uncomfortable chairs but shook awake at the mention of food. Eddie still had his head on Richie’s shoulder and was yawning every two minutes, but Richie was keeping himself more awake – mostly so he could look at Eddie while he dozed but no one noticed so he’d never have to admit it.

“Edward Kaspbrak?” A nurse made Richie’s head shoot up and he nudged Eddie before hopping up.

“Sorry miss he’s deaf, is it okay if I come to translate?” He volunteered himself with a little smile that made the nurse tut her tongue at him fondly. He turned to Eddie and signed fast, _That’s your nurse, want me to come since your mom is gone?_ Eddie nodded while he stretched, he stood up and they made their way to the examination room with polite quiet.

_

Richie had to turn his back while Eddie changed into the hospital gown, when he settled onto the table and knocked the bed frame so Richie would turn around they were both red, _Isn’t that cold?_

_Yeah no shit it’s a fucking cotton dress._ Eddie rolled his eyes but couldn’t suppress the little shiver that ran through him, _I can’t exactly put my shirt on over it._

_Take my sweater_. Richie didn’t wait for Eddie to agree before he was shrugging it off of his arms, and flipping it over so it rested on Eddie’s shoulders, the smaller boy was hardly going to complain when the sweater was so warm and the hair on his legs was standing up from the fact that the stupid hospital didn’t turn off their air conditioning in the fall.

They settled into a nice quiet, Richie sat on the chair beside the cracked exam table and cringed a little at the sound of the rough paper crinkling under Eddie. Something seemed to strike Eddie and he sat up with realization in his eyes, _What were you trying to tell me before my mom came home?_

Fuck.

Richie flushed red and shifted to glance around the room, it was empty, and even if it wasn’t any nurse or doctor in the room wouldn’t know what Richie was saying with his hands. But this isn’t how Richie wanted to do this. Not in a hospital waiting room that smelt somehow of both cleanliness and sickness.

It was just the perfect place for Eddie though wasn’t it?

Richie’s hands trembled a little when he picked them up to sign, Eddie’s face went from curious to worried when Richie sign statically, none of his usual flare, _I like you how I’m not supposed to like you._ He didn’t look up from his hands either.

There was a long drawn out silence while Richie built up the courage to lift his gaze, when he finally did Eddie had taken off his surgical mask and was smiling, his hand already lifted in the sign _I love you_. Richie grinned stupid and went over to stand in front of Eddie, his face told Eddie he was probably mustering up the courage to kiss him and _god_ Eddie wanted him to. Richie fidgeted around for too long so Eddie grabbed his collar and pressed their lips together, cheeks puffed up and eyes pressed shut. He pulled apart and took a deep breath, watching Richie for any reaction, Richie smiled wide and tugged Eddie in once more, this time they kissed for longer, simple and sweet, this time the feeling in Richie’s chest was a good kind of scary.

They had hardly pulled apart when the door swung open as a new nurse came in to find out what Eddie was visiting for, this nurse knew him and blinked twice, a little startled at the absence of Eddie’s hovering mother and even more startled by the scuffed up boy that was standing by him. After a brief introduction Richie offered to explain what had happened, he made sure Eddie was able to follow and had a little scowl on his face when the nurse didn’t seem to know one sign despite her familiarity with the Kaspbraks.

Richie signed boyfriend every time he said the word friend, Eddie got so red that Nurse Green asked on seven different occasions if he needed his inhaler.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyyyy this is my [tumblr](https://reddie-foranything.tumblr.com/)


	3. 3.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie and Eddie learn a thing or two about the fear of loss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS WAS A PROMPT THAT I WROTE IN ONE DAY  
> so 1. forgive the atrocious and surely frequent mistakes and 2. i wrote this in one day i hope it's decent

_You should just change classes; I bet I could talk Principal Johnson into doing it._ Richie was in the hallway with Eddie, signing rapidly outside Eddie’s Home Ec room before he’d have to dart down to the basement for Shop, _Its pure torture that I have to be without my baby for a whole hour!_ He moved his hand tediously slow when he signed _hour_ and Eddie got over his flush at the endearment to laugh at Richie’s dramatics.

_Saw dust irritates my asthma dumbass._ He paused when Richie took a step closer and gave a sweet smile, _I don’t like it either. My mom would never sign off on me being in a class with saws and you anyway._ It was the only class of the day that he wasn’t with Richie; they had managed to convince the principal _and_ Eddie’s mom that Eddie’s grades would only benefit from having a translator. Somehow, they had also been right.

Richie leaned in and pressed a quick to peck to Eddie’s cheek, they were a little less shy about displaying affection now that they were in high school, Richie sucked at keeping secrets anyway – if it was up to him he and Eddie would be making out against the lockers between classes, Eddie was the logic in their relationship. _I love you! Save me some of whatever you make!_ He signed it as he walked backwards and Eddie nodded and waved before heading into his class. The world always felt quieter without Richie’s constant rambling demanding his attention, it was a strange sensation he had never noticed before.

In class he smiled politely to his teacher and grabbed an apron, went to her desk for his ‘lesson’ which was just a transcript of what she was intending to teach, some students were already at their stations and washing their hands so he followed suit, a quick glance at the paper in his hand telling him they would be making basic pancakes – Richie was going to be _thrilled_.

He hiked up his sleeves and washed his hands while leaning so he could read her introduction, then pulled out what he would need from the drawers and cupboards. While he worked alone – no one saw the benefit in giving him a partner he couldn’t communicate with – the whole class seemed to pause in a way that told him there was most likely a voice coming through the bulky intercom speaker at the front of the room so he paused and looked up in case his mom had showed up at the office again to demand Eddie for some bizarre reason she’d pulled together.

Instead of seeing his normally bored classmates when he glanced up, he saw his teacher run across the room to close the door and pull down the little curtain before gesturing hastily for everyone to get down. All the students seemed to break from their frozen positions in unison and drop down to hide against their counters and out of view from anyone that were to pass by the classroom. Eddie felt the trembling go from just his hands to his whole body when the girl in front of him met his eyes while she turned around and there were tears in her gaze.

Eddie knew what this was; they practiced at the beginning of the year in case there was ever someone dangerous in the building. But they already had their drill so – so was this real? Had they heard a gunshot? It must’ve been what startled everyone. Eddie slid to sit and tried his best to focus on his breathing but all he could think about was how someone may be laying dead or injured in the school, how it could’ve easily been him or – or – _fuck,_ Richie was always sneaking out of class.

_

When the first loud bang ricocheted down to the school’s basement Richie was sanding down the leg of a table and it startled him so much that he jumped up and smacked his head. After his initial reaction to the new ache in his head, dread set in when the whole class seemed to halt as the teacher pulled the heavy door closed and yelled to hit the emergency off switches on any running saws.

When the class had crowded to the back of the room Richie’s heart picked up as he remembered that Eddie wouldn’t even be able to hear what was going on – and even worse that Richie wasn’t there to make sure he found out. He had to get out of the classroom – if Eddie wasn’t in class he wouldn’t know to hide. And there was a teacher’s duty and a heavy sliding door between Richie and his boy. Unless you knew your way around.

He glanced around, the class was all boys – Derry High believed strongly in ‘encouraging healthy gender roles’ – except for Bev (she had oh so kindly offered to switch places with Eddie when Sonia came in at the start of the school year raging about asthma and heavy machinery), who watched Richie with wild eyes when he started to scoot slowly and quietly towards the back closet, it had a hallway entrance, which led to a back stairwell that would take him up to the second level and hopefully to Eddie. _What are you doing?!_ Her signs were frantic and sharp; one could easily call them scolding but Richie knew it was concern.

Richie signed _E-d-d-i-e_ with equal sharpness, pressing his palms to the sawdust coated floor to carefully lift himself over more, casting flicking his eyes to make sure their teacher hadn’t noticed. _He can’t hear that. I can’t just sit here if he’s not safe._

When he went to shuffle again Bev reached over and caught his arm, she gave him an almost shockingly distinct _mom_ look before releasing his arm to sign, _You won’t be any good to him dead._ There was a sudden paleness to her face, like the situation was really hitting her, and Richie swallowed back the thickness in his throat.

_There’s nothing for me if he’s de-_ Bev grabbed his hand before he could finish flipping it to say _dead_. There was a threat of tears in her eyes and the sound of her hand hitting his made their teacher look over. He gave them both a sharp look and gestured for them to get closer to the corner. The scowl on Richie’s face remained that way when his obedience got him stuck with Bev clinging to his arm in order to keep him in place. All he could do was sit and stare at the ceiling so the tears in his eyes couldn’t fall while he waited. He and Bev had talked about this before during one of their many late night smoke sessions, Richie wasn’t kidding when he said that Eddie was the only family he ever knew – it wasn’t a slight on any of his friends, they were like family to him, but Eddie was someone he wasn’t sure he’d survive without.

After the longest twenty minutes of his entire fucking life there was a soft knock on the door and their principal’s voice came muffled through the thick metal, “This is Principal Johnson, the lockdown is over.”

There was a long exhale throughout the room, during the wait it had seemed like the whole class was holding their breath, Richie jumped to his feet when the teacher went over to open the door and their principal along with Eddie’s Home Ec teacher were standing on the other side of the door. “Is he okay?”

Mrs. Gorman was nice, but her face was tight when she gestured Richie to follow her, “Can you come with me Mr. Tozier?” It was the closest Richie had ever been to passing out in his life.

As soon as they were out of the classroom he was on her, frantic eyes watching her for any hint of what was going on with Eddie, she seemed to want to torture him because Eddie wasn’t the first topic she found pressing, “The first sound that went off was a firecracker, the second one was a gunshot. He only got one shot into the air and no one was injured, but he’s been arrested so you don’t have to worry.” _No one was injured, Eddie was safe._

Richie deflated, they were halfway to the classroom at this point and Richie just wanted to run and see Eddie safe and sound once again. “Is Eddie alright?”

She gave an uncomfortable glance at Richie at that and his heart dropped. “Have you ever heard someone who is deaf cry? It’s a wretched sound to hear that kind of agony.” Of course Richie’s heard Eddie cry, they’d been together for years, it was the most gut wrenching sound he’d ever heard – Eddie explained it later that even though you don’t realize it, when you’re hearing you can alter the sounds you make when you laugh or cry to make them sound less, earnest was maybe the best word, Eddie didn’t know what crying sounded like, so he didn’t know how to really go about minimizing those sounds. “He’s not sobbing anymore but no one can console him, we just need you to translate that it was a drill.” The teacher broke his train of thought and made him scowl. Fuck translating, Eddie needed comfort.

“Can you imagine how scary it would be to live in a world that couldn’t communicate with you? Stop treating him like a puzzle that you need an answer key for and start treating him like a person.” His tone was maybe a little too harsh but he meant every word, the teacher seemed to swallow back her scolding because he didn’t hear any replies as he rushed forward and into the open door of the Home Ec room. Eddie’s classmates were murmuring to each other, staring at an empty station that has soft sniffles coming from behind it, “Do your fucking cooking.” Richie snapped at them and they looked at him in shock before turning to what they were supposed to be doing, he scowled and walked past them – it wasn’t often that his peers would listen to dorky Richie Tozier, but something about him could be terrifying when Eddie was involved.

When he finally saw Eddie his heart broke and all his rushing turned into hesitance. The smaller boy was curled into himself, his hands in his hair and his forehead rested on his knees, when Richie settled cross legged in front of him he could see that despite his eyes being squeezed tight he still had tears on his face. After another moment of hesitation Richie moved into action – if he knew anything about moments that Eddie couldn’t pull himself together it was that it was far too easy for his other senses to get overloaded, so he did what Eddie always did when Richie’s parents were getting to be too much or the bad bits of his brain were getting too much attention: he curled his hand into a fist with his thumb sticking up, then very carefully pushed his fist into Eddie’s shin so the pad of his thumb rested on the denim of his jeans.

When he starting rubbing the thumb up and down to make half of the _sweetheart_ sign Eddie looked up a little jerkily and let out a shattered sounding exhale. Then his hands flew like lightning, _They wouldn’t tell me if you were okay they just wrote that someone had a gun and that he got arrested and I kept thinking about how everyone looked so scared and you never stay in your stupid class –_ Richie cut him off by reaching up to grab his shaking hands.

_I tried to get to you._ He signed slowly, everything about the moment needed to be a little more still, _I was so scared baby, if some psycho was loose in the school and you were alone in the halls I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself._ There was a pause and Eddie honestly looked like he was going to cry so Richie continued, _What I’m trying to say is that right now I think you should just let me hug you before we’re both crying._

Eddie let out a sob laugh at that and climbed into Richie’s lap, he pressed his damp face to Richie’s boney shoulder and let Richie hold him just a little too tight. After they sat there for a minute Eddie pulled back so Richie looked down, _I was supposed to make pancakes today. They’re your favourite._ He looked so genuinely apologetic that Richie had to kiss the pout off his face. Maybe it was the privacy of being at the back of the classroom, or more likely the fact that they both had to face the concept of losing the other, but neither pulled away until they were close to taking it too far.

_Make me chocolate chip for breakfast tomorrow and I’ll consider us even._ He cracked his signature goofy smile and it was wider than ever when Eddie gave him a little one in return with a nod. _I love you._

Eddie’s cheeks turned that beautiful pink colour that Richie loved so much and he bit his lip to hold in his smile, _Maybe I should transfer to Shop class._

_No way! We can’t irritate your asthma!_ Eddie kissed Richie’s laugh, it was one of his favourite things.

By the next Monday Richie was tying an apron around his waist for his first day as Eddie’s Home Ec partner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> send me prompts on [tumblr](https://reddie-foranything.tumblr.com/) i looooooooooove them

**Author's Note:**

> please i need recognition, feel free to leave a comment or visit me on my IT [tumblr](https://reddie-foranything.tumblr.com/)
> 
> also! i take requests for this verse if you're curious as to how a certain senario would play out since the story is nonlinear


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